Recently, I’ve had to work with a very unpleasant lady. Actually, a better way to describe her is dreadful. However, my future lay in her hands. She held a director position and had the sole responsibility of granting me permission for my appeal.
This lady would not return my voicemails for two weeks. Nor could she be reached by phone and she didn’t take appointments. The only other way to reach her is by fax or she would speak with you in person if you catch her during her office hours. After not getting through to her for some more time, I decided to ‘catch her’ during her office hours.
The day when I came in to personally meet with her, I had two choices: either come in carrying stress and frustration or come from a neutral, open place.
I decided to drop my frustration and begin to view this lady from a new light. By taking deep breaths and relaxing my body, I began to open to the understanding that this woman is most likely overworked and might face other issues in her personal life that are causing her to embody this demeanor.
From this new state of mind, I took a long deep breath and stepped into her department. To my surprise she was in her office and agreed to meet with me. Initially, as I sat down to talk with her, I could pick up on her tension. However, I noticed that as we talked her body began to relax. Towards the end of the meeting she connected with my sincerity and I sensed that some of my energy transmuted into her. I even felt her expressing some kindness. It was osmosis at its finest moment! I walked out of the room learning that I was already granted the permission. I was very pleased about this news but I felt more joy thinking about the transformation that I just witnessed.
Word of advice, if you find yourself in an unpleasant confrontation, resist the animal instinct to tense up and move into defense. Rather take a deep inhalation (if need be, take lots of these breaths to slow down your heart and break this tension up) and mindfully relax your shoulders, your body on the deep exhalations. These breaths will help bring or keep your body in a calm state. Allow whatever the negative situation or the anger that the person is communicating, to pass through you. Then approach from your neutral place and you will see how miraculously you will bring the situation into a more favorable energy. It’s a simple scientific phenomenon of osmosis: allow the negative energy to pass and transfuse it with your relaxed, neutral aura.
